Facing Death: Frogs, Flickering Lights, and the Art That Followed

Gram’s Celebration of Life

For a long time, I turned away from the art I really loved: spooky, magical, mysterious things. Death. The occult. Spirit. The unknown. I didn’t completely abandon it, but I kept it at arm’s length. I didn’t want to lean too far into what I thought might seem too dark, too weird, too much. And along with that avoidance, I also left death sitting on a shelf, untouched.

That all changed when my grandmother, Helen, came to live with me during the final chapter of her life.

Her presence in my home and in my care shifted everything. Watching her face death with curiosity didn’t just change my day-to-day—it changed my spirit. It reawakened the part of me that knows death isn’t the villain of the story. It reminded me that the unknown is worth exploring. And most of all, it gave me the courage to make the art I truly love, and to share it, unfiltered.

On the day of her funeral, I read a eulogy alongside my mom and uncle. But instead of focusing solely on her life story, I spoke about what she taught me, especially about living with the awareness of death, not fear of it. Here’s an excerpt from what I shared:

”….She inspired me to be honest. To be brave. To not take shit from anyone. And maybe the most sacred lesson she taught me: how to be comfortable with death.

Gram’s spirituality didn’t fit in a box. She was rooted in Catholicism and Jesus, but she also welcomed the mystery. She questioned life and what comes after. She took us to occult shops for tarot readings. She got astrological birth charts for new babies in the family. Sometimes a candle and a Ouija board would show up on the table alongside the Lord’s Prayer.

These weren’t scary acts for her. They were brave acts—of acknowledging the unseen, of refusing to ignore life’s natural cycles.

Gram spoke of the dead like they were still here—because to her, they were. She’d say her father left her dimes. That when she craved a highball, it meant her own grandmother was near. Once, a potted plant flew off the fridge and hit her square in the head. She didn’t panic. She said, ‘Someone must be trying to tell me something.’

That’s who she was. She believed death wasn’t a door slamming shut—it was a veil being lifted. So before she passed, we asked her to send us signs. Frogs. Moved plants. Flickering lights. And since she’s gone, we’ve gotten all of those.

Just the other day, the lights were flickering. My partner said, ‘We’re going to need a clearer sign.’ The next day, we were in the kitchen talking about Gram when a loud SMACK hit the window beside me. A frog. Gram had arrived.

Her passing made me more comfortable with death. That’s what I hope for everyone here today. To keep your loved ones close, even if you can’t see them. To live with the awareness that we will all die—and let that make you braver, softer, and more grateful. Death isn’t the end. It’s just another form of change.”

That moment, and everything that led up to it, lit something inside of me. I’ve started designing a new piece of art inspired by this story: a frog, symbolic of transformation, spirit, and Gram. I quickly screen printed this frog onto shirts for my family to give to them at the funeral. I want to this little party going frog to live on and bring joy to others as it would Gram. So, tt will become a print, a sticker, and probably a shirt too.

Frog art design inspired by grandmother and signs from the spirit world

While that art isn’t ready yet, I do have something in my shop that feels connected to all of this: my “Terrified and Doin’ It Anyway” skeleton mug.

It’s not just about fear—it’s about facing it.

It’s about dancing with death.

It’s about choosing to live fully, even with trembling hands.

Just like Gram did.

[View the mug here → link to product]

Thanks for being here and reading this. Writing this post helped me grieve, helped me connect, and reminded me why I make art in the first place: to stay in conversation with mystery, with memory, and with everything we can’t quite explain.

Be Bold, Be Brave, and don't take shit from anyone.

Love,
Shaye Garrigan